True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize