two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
