Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
