That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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