her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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