Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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