We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
