you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
