Whod you bang
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wish my penis had a tongue
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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