Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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