Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
