I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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