you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
