So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
