no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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