I must be too annoying 4 u.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
