I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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