Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
