Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
