yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
