Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
