very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
