singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize