wat bout pragnant strippers??
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
