i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
