All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize