new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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