you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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