dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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