i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
