whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
