We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize