More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
