i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
