I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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