I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
