I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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