I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
