I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
is wine microwaveable?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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