I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
