My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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