I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You ate ashes out of my bong
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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