i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
