Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
