and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
