i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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