nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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