This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
