her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
