Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to have your abortion
im six kinds of drunk right now
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
