your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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