I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
