I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
