The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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