and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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