apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
