it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize