sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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