road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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