I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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