I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
