thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
