Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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