that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
